I am far from a patient person. All the things that sit on my to do list I want done right away and I want them done correctly. There have been many times in my life that if an activity is not bearing fruit after I have labored on it for days or even months, I am ready to give up on it. This has been a huge struggle when it comes to following my dreams and pushing my husband to follow his. I want to see results right away and when I do not, I am ready to throw in the towel. God has provided me with many waiting seasons in my life each teaching me that being in a season of waiting is not always a bad thing but provides me with an opportunity to grow.
A Two and a Half Year Wait
A huge waiting season in my life was about four years ago and it involved a rusting out 1998 Jeep Cherokee that was my daily driver. After a few months of having my Jeep, that I began to grow fondly of, it decided it wanted to break down on me. It was a cold winters night and to make it even better I was with my mother when the thing decided to sputter to a stop as I drove back home. Frantically I called my fiancé, now husband Ethan, who is a mechanic. That night turned into a two-hour tow home and that was just the beginning of the problems we would have with it. The next two and a half years would be filled with stress as we would put an insane amount of time, energy, and money into the thing, and it would still sit broken.
Now being two young kids, Ethan and I didn’t have much money, but with only having one working car between the both of us we had to do what we could to save the Jeep. Poor Ethan put so much time into researching the problem as we replaced what others suggested but it still would not run. I was done with it after about six months, and I joked many times I was ready to set it on fire, yet my husband continued to convince me we would get it fixed. As the years went by looking at it frustrated me more and more but a part of me couldn’t bear to let it go remembering the fun I had in it and with it. It was the first car I ever really worked on and cared about.
Eventually, my husband was able to get it running and running well. I remember how it was close to my birthday and he excitedly announced he had a surprise for me. When I turned the key, it came rumbling to life and by my surprise I was able to drive it down the road. It left me giddy, and for those who do not get the thing with people and their cars I just cannot explain.
Giving Up is the Easy Way Out
This whole experience showed me that throwing in the towel could be the easy way out, but you could also lose a piece of yourself doing so. Fighting for your dreams is hard work and giving them up just because you are not seeing results is no way to go about it. The waiting seasons change us and grow us for the next season of life that is coming our way. This waiting season showed me how to have patience. If I didn’t go through it, I am sure I would be even more likely to give up on the business my husband and I opened almost a year ago.
This waiting season taught me that as much as we think we know what’s going to happen we truly don’t. We can plan and fix the plan, yet the plan can completely shatter and crumble right in front of our eyes and then what? I am far from strong enough to handle it on my own, but those seasons are when I look to God the most. I grab his hand and hold tightly as I allow him to lead the way but almost always after I cry and throw a fit about it for a while.
If you are in a season of waiting, I feel your pain. This truly was a small waiting season that I have walked through but there have been many harder ones that I have faced. Each teaching me new things. My best advice is to take a breather, pray about it, find God’s hand in all this, and take it. Even if it feels like He is leading you in the dark I promise you He has the flashlight and can see every twist and turn before it comes.